i am sorry (why apologize for your mind?)

why am i doing this now? should i tell them whats going on? would they care? whose they? whose reading this anyway? why do you keep reading? am i complaining to much? yes? no? do i think too much? why should i care what anybody else thinks? do i care too much? do you think so? do i? it sounds like i care too much, don't it? should i stop? am i worrying too much? i don't think i need this, do you?
why do i feel so tormented, like something tragic happened?
did you see those eyes too? how could you've? i was the only one looking, right? did you feel like that when you looked? were you trying to impress that image, that bit of your soul? was it a warning? a word?
why did it scare me so much?
was it like that dream? do you feel that one too? is that the end? do i say please and you stay there, but never turn? will you ever turn to face me? or walk away so you can come back running? lifting, soaring, will you? i cannot imagine, hope has eluded me once again, has it you? or are you all too proud of yourself for never turning back? this alley is long, will you keep on walking, will i keep on crumbling? will we kiss the darkness? form with the darkness? but why is it only you running back? shouldn't i go too? all along it has been you there for me, will it always be?
my brother needs to turn down that music, how can he stand listening to them whine?
how can you listen to me? or are you just soaring away, eluding me with hope? are you my hope? my only hope? i explained those trifles, were you understanding? was it all a waste? am i? was this whole thing futile? will we turn again to square one? or have i gone too far, too far off the board? i just don't fit do i? i am sorry.

a poem! to fit. it is mine. is it good enough for you?

A Feverish Quiet (Don’t Apologize)

Wrong in your eyes.
Everything.
Apologies are tossed aside.
No use.
It is me.

Don’t apologize for who you are.
Useless.
It is all wrong,
By this way.
It burns.

Flaming.
My very soul,
Will be wrong?
I cannot breathe.
Unaccepted.

A feverish quiet.

Slow down.
Speed up.
Crying out in the dark.
No one hears.
Rank, rotten.