i think, for me, one of my biggest challenges i face in myself is that of seeing the lines. like "crossed the line", "outta line", "draw the line" sorta lines. i mean i lose control and cross the line, way too much, more and more often now. and i can tell when i've crossed the line, but right before i can never actually see it. and its so frustrating... but maybe i just don't wanna see the lines, am i avoiding them..? i don't want it to be like that, i don't think it is, i mean, i am always kinda in shock when i know i've gone too far, like a "how did i get here...?" typa feeling. and once i'm over i feel as if i've lost something, like the key, the one key, that will get me back on my side, into my relative sanity.. and i end up hurting so many people, including myself, before i find that key, if i ever do. i don't want to be like this, i hate those looks, where we all know i've gone to far, strayed way outta line, and there's fear impressed in those looks, fear because no one knows what to do, no one knows quite how to react. and i feel the more times the boundaries are crossed, a little bit more of them gets wiped away, and then more and some more. my limits are fading, i need to learn to draw those lines again, i need to build up a solace i can retreat to before things get too bad, too unhealthy. most of you reading this know when i get like this, you've been through it with me, you've seen it all, and i am truly sorry to have dragged you through that abyss with me, please forgive me... but i ask one thing, too, please help me with this, in any way... please, can we stay together a bit longer?
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