this life in my pocket: issue 9: breaking free (?)

i have nothing to post.

LIES! i have lots to post, but again, nothing will fit into the words or images, or maybe i just don't want them too. reminds me of thinking. blast. this is why i can't write anymore, its been too long, too much has happened. see, noah? hmmm?
blechk, what is the point of this post? maybe its like carving, you see some figure trying to break free and come alive outside the wood, and as you slice away the wood and splinters, it becomes sorta beautiful. not that i carve. i guess that goes for lots of things, not the lack of carving, but once someone comes to cut them out to freedom, they become beautiful.. or at least beautiful to the carver/molder person. is that enough?

for another question, so we really need that much? can you carve yourself? if we can't, are we really that different from blocks of wood, spare lumber, and logs? we're all the same. i mean, i'm not the same as you, and you're not the same as her, and he's not the same as that elephant, but we're all the same, we're all stuck here, waiting for someone to carve us out. can't we all just see ourselves singing "Finally yes! Finally now! Finally something takes me away, Finally free! Finally he can cut through these strings And open my wings!"*?

and i mean, c'mon now, what're we waiting for, are we THAT challenged that we have to wait on our shining knights to steal us away from these towers? do we have to wait for someone to come on over and open us up, clean up our wounds, sew us up, just so we can run again? do we have to wait for the daylight to be able to see? do we have to wait to fall off a cliff and be saved by some mage, just to be loved? do we have to die to live? do i just have to write this post so someone will listen? do we really need to do all that, just to be alive and free? (why am i asking this, is this what my mind's even on?) are we really that co-dependent? can we survive alone? should we try? would we even dare..?

this isn't making sense. i might post later, when actual fully formed ideas and words can come to mind. but then again, maybe not.

but hey, one more idea. this sorta has to do with this other thing i've been thinking about. the thing that our lives don't start when we get in to some school, when we turn 16, when we get smiled at by some person, when we fall in love, when we learn this new skill, when we get some thing, when.. you get the point. so yeah, life isn't gonna START for you in one of these situations, sure it'll CHANGE, but i mean you can't just wait for life to begin, you can't tell when it'll start or end, we're just flecks in the system called "life" and it is not up to us.. where it goes. do what you want, you can wait... and wait, but life ain't waiting up for you, its gonna keep on going.. whos gonna miss it?

*"goodbye until tomorrow/i could never rescue you" from "the last 5 years"

did i really need to put that, i mean did any of you really notice the "*" up there? no, i doubt it.. how excessive.