to the death of boredom!

hey humans-- how ya'll been over this fine, fine break of ours? i hope your holidays have all been well lived and appreciated, kinda. not i kinda hope you had a good time, its that i hope you all at least had a relatively good time over your holidays. nevermind. well, actually, i guess i spoke too soon, we still have all those pleasant new year surprises and all that good stuff.
i know i said i probably wouldn't write, and likewise, i doubt many of you will read all for the same reasons, but heck, i was bored, bored outta my mind! and i mean, all good folkies have experienced this dreadful feeling, i know, and we complain and whine and completely and utterly tick off everyone in a fifteen foot range of us until at last they give us some lovely choice words or chores. divine. we cannot have that! we must learn to deal! gasp! sigh... how?! ok most of us are too lazy to search through those rainy-day-stuck-inside-the-gosh-darn-awful-house-where-the-heater-is-turned-up-way-way-way-too-high sorta books with the hideous pictures of the cheery, perky children that are all to excited about the neat-o arts and craft projects they're about to endure (forgive my cynicism). but yet, somehow we desperate younglings, disgusted as we are with the pitiful surroundings (again, forgive my cynicism), pluck up the courage and will to reach all the way over to our bookshelves and grab those books, only to be let down and frustrated. WHAT SHALL WE DO?!?!?!?!
take heart, children of mine, just look up, look around you-- now you may wonder, how can she be telling all of us to be chipper and find something to do? whinywhinywhiny. what did she do, eh? YOUR LOOKING AT IT PATHETIC HUMANOIDS (sorry about the excessive namecalling, i got it from pavia ehehe)!!! (humans who already have a so-called myspace page, please disregard the following message) blog! BLOG! blog you children of the earth, then you can tell your fellow earthlings what your feeling and EVERYTHING (-insert heavenly angelic music here-)!!! and you can be my blog buddies and we can talk and comment and you can share and we can have fun! YESH!
of course you can also take up dancing. yes, i said dancing! its actually really, i dunno how to desribe it, hmm, weight-lifting-ish. i mean, you just can be free and you can express yourself. its almost redemptive and you can let everything out. its all around spectacular. but it all really depends on the music your listening to, like new agey or soft alternative like enya really winds me down along with coldplay, but then theres rock like U2 and the killers which gets more of the frustrations and anger out. ooh and r&b is of course always good, beyonce, stevie wonder, and all those good oldies (personally, i recommend "drift away" by dobie gray, or "dancing in the moonlight" by... er, someone else). no but really its immensly moody and freeing, you gotta try it, and i mean your hearing this from a tone-deaf girl with little rhythm who can't sing to save her life, but hey, you don't need a crowd to dance (refer to souza quote a while back)...
i miss you fellas and stellas, but until we meet again, HUGS!!!

doodeedoodledee

ooh, heyyyyyy, uh huh. well how many days has it been? uh, i'd just like to say sorryfornotpostingonthebloginlikeforeveri'vejustbeenkindabusywiththehumanscanyoukindgentlefolkseverforgiveme??? PLEASE!!! i never meant no wrong.
so again, i might not be posting for a while, but thats because its BBBBRRREEEAAAAAAKKKKKKK!!!!! so ya, but just to those who are avid fans, i might eventually be continuing the old blog of me(the mango) and la belleza with la belleza when mi familia ventures on up to BERKELEY, i swear that is one of the best cities ever iin the world! so if you wanna read that i'll give you the link, its labellezamango.blogspot.com, just click there. yupyup. so i'll be back in good time, i promise. <3 (ooooooh that is like the most obnoxious thing i've done all day, SORRRY!)

mental health??? mackakelenzio?!?! hmm...

er... well, i'm back. i feel like a guilty puppy, with this not posting stuff and everything. ehehe... ooo. i know i am posting during the day and most humans are in school, but uhhhhhh, i'm not most humans. ya, ya ya. ok ok i'm taking a "mental health day", and not going to school, i know i know, bad mackakelenzio, but hey, i've been really tired and i just needed a day to rest and wind down a bit... it's all good.
i've missed you guys, sorry i haven't talked more, i've had this blasted narrative essay and just a bunch of other stuff (e.g. i've been reading eragon! lalalalala! and now i'm on eldest and normally i can't put it down, but i had to to talk to you folkies!!! i love you guys! *she dramatically wipes away tears of joy*, i just had to...)
i made this baby moose toy named craig, and he is such a hottie! my gosh! you'll have to come over and meet him!!! i mean ooo la la!
i really really really really really don't know what to talk about, which makes things tough, since i do have this blog and i do have to post... SEND ME TOPICS!!!!!!!!!!!!! c'mon itcould be fun, sorta...

...

my heart is crying.

wide-eyed human with a frostingless cupcake

hey homies, i feel rather lame, i haven't really been talking to you folkies lately, i mean i've been giving you miraculous quotes and stuff, but i fear one of us is slowing down and it's probably me. LAME LAME LAME!!! no! i refuse! i will not fail you! I WILL REMAIN FAITHFUL! now me and my blog do a little blood-byte pact here to remain strong unto one another and never turn traitor!!! whoo!
hmm... ok anyways... maybe i'll fill you in on current events, or maybe new ideas i have, or maybe i'll tell you a story, or maybe... sigh, i don't know what to talk about. i mean, i started talking about various religious paraphernalia and i didn't get such hot reviews. well whatever... argh, i feel dumb, like i can't follow through with this blog... NEVER! the blog must go on, i think. i had a frostingless cupcake today, i guess that makes it more muffinish doesn't it? ah, well... what're ya gonna do? it was mighty tasty though...mmmyes!
oh ya, i had this really amazing/random thing happen to me today, we were going over to coffee gallery today and on the way my dad saw his prophet friend, gideon. and we we're just talking about normal stuff, and then he turns to me and says, 'what is your heart's desire?' and i'm like whoa, so i thought about it pretty briefly and said i really didn't know. i know that is a mighty hasty and all around lame answer but i mean c'mon, people don't tend to get asked these questions everyday, so i was a bit taken aback, because a) i'm used to questions when you first see someone like 'so what's up?', not 'what is your heart's desire?' and b) it was really out of the blue. well, duh. and so then he says that i will be blessed, very blessed and i'm like wow, thanks (yet another stupid answer, what is the deal?! but hey, i was still a bit shocked). and he said he was like anointed or called or something to me, to say that. and my dad said he's done stuff like that before and every, single, solitary time what he says comes true. and like i felt really wide-eyed, like not physically but y'know like all of me felt sort of astonished and uplifted at the fact that someone just prophesied over me, a prophesy from god, for me, to me. and i already felt so blessed. ahhh...

LUGS AND LUMMOXES ARE LAME!!!

i am going to give you a quote, get inspired humans! LUGS AND LUMMOXES ARE LAME! (ooo alliteration) do something, anything change the world, your world, their world, love. (here i'll squeeze in a ghandi quote "you must be the change you want to see in the world", so there.) actually i'll give you more than one, ooo it's your lucky day! these are some of my favorite quotes, and i want your feelings on them also. you have to read them slowly, savor them, don't just rush by, listen.

DANCE
as though no one is watching you,
LOVE
as though you have never been hurt before
SING
as though no one can hear you
LIVE
as though heaven is on earth.
-souza

our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. it is our light not
our darkness that most frightens us. we ask ourselves, who am i to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? actually,
who are you not to be? you are a child of god. your playing small does not serve the world. there is nothing enlightened
about shirnking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. we are all meant to shine, as children do. we were born
to make manifest the glory of god that is within us. it is not just in some of us, it is in everyone. and as we let our own light
shine, we unconciously give other people permission to do the same. as we are liberated from our own fear, our presence
automatically liberates others.
-marianne williamson

when "nonsense" makes the most sense...the only sense

a friend came over this evening who wishes to remain nameless. ok well i don't know that for sure, but it always sounds more, puzzling and almost mischevious, like why? why remain unknown? what is there to hide? we had a splendid long chat on the trampoline (i'm tellin ya, that's where everything important goes down, its all discussed), and it was naturally surprising to find how many experiences we can relate to and how much of each others past we understand. i always seem to find the closeness and understanding in people whom i would never dream could comprehend my absurd feelings, its great to just be able to talk when people actually listen and all these truths you hold get through their abnormally un-thick skulls.(i guess i could have said, thin, but that just sounds dumb.) ahhhh...
i've noticed it's really uncomfortable when you are talking about little problems you're going through and since other people understand, it's not stupid or unecessary, the feeling you have, but important and desperate, but then you read up on something about genocide or poverty, suffering and murder. you just end up thinking, my little "suffering" seems so lame, so hideously trivial, i am disgusted with myself, the guilt! the shame!
then i think of small times or incidents i call "life-altering" or "redemptive" and i feel so... just ugh. i mean the places people find faith are with the starving, the homeless, the ill, the dying, and i just feel so ignorant and foolish. almost deprived, like even though i have so much, and feel so spoiled, i feel empty and lacking, disturbed. i want to give everything up, turn it all away, all the little things some call necessities, to just finally be free and open to god. when everything is given up and away, and we have broken down the barricade obstructing our vision and we can see. I LONG TO SEE...! all these thoughts and feelings i am discovering i never knew i had everything makes sense now, just from reading this book, THE IRRESISTIBLE REVOLUTION: LIVING AS AN ORDINARY RADICAL, by shane claiborne. oh my goodness, you all must read this book, i don't care what you are, christian, muslim, jewish, buddhist, anything, this is the way to live. the road less traveled is the road most needed. i want with everything to have nothing, be nothing to be ready for anything, everything. if this is the only way that truly makes everything clear, everything make sense, then why am i so hesitant to begin? it's all about our COMFORT ZONE, blast those! but i think once we depart, take the first step away from THE ZONE, everything will begin, our lives will begin. we're like fledglings (doesn't it seem everything is compared to baby birds these days?) even though in the nest we are safe, warm and fed by our mothers (thanks mom, by the way) once we just hope out and open up our wings, we are ready to soar and the first real adventure of our life begins. and even though there will be other, bigger birds to put us down, and we'll have to search and work for our food and shelter, it is the way. and compared to all the other mixed up paths, well, this actually makes sense.

faith with a side order of trampoline, what kind of sauce would you like?

hey yodels, thank you for your tremendous comments (cough jordan cough), i've really appreciated it, and the fact that most of you are actually reading the blog, it's just so great. *tear, tear* i just feel so loved *gasp, sob*. sniffles. um so anyways, i just feel like posting again, just doing another one of those midday things...
i could talk about yesterday, but since its today i should talk about today, but other stuff happened last night, and so i think i should post about that but if i don't post today about today, then will i have to post tomorrow about today, which at that time would be a yesterday, but then when will i post about tomorrow, two tomorrows from now? then i'll be in the same position i'm in now. geez confusion. well actually its not that perplexedizing, i just used too many todays tomorrows and yesterdays. nevermind...
ok so what am i talking about now? i'll start from the beginning and work up to now, the beginning which happens to be last night, and the now which happens to be, well about 3ish, kinda. hmm ok maybe i won't give you every single solitary detail because a) i've already written a bunch of extra junk and b) that would just be annoying.
so now to start. well after i left you last i was preparing to finally work on my homework and go to church. 2 CHURCHGOINGS IN ONE STINKING DAY! wowza. so ya. i went to the second church, which happened to be christian assembly/fusion thingamajig, and it was just incredibly amazing, everyone was really great and i felt really welcomed and the worship time was really reviving, i swear tears came to my eyes at least 3 times and i just felt so alive and ready to do anything for my god and my people! part of my youth group went as sort of scout like things to find and bring ways of livliness to my current church, first pres altadena. it was spectacular and ahhh just really life giving, and lately i've really needed that open connection to my god. i think a lot of people mistake what it takes to be a church, i mean 'church' doesn't have to be a place with hard pews, and empty prayers, church can be a group of individuals searching for truths and faiths to help open the eyes of the world, feed the homeless, and all that other good stuff. its a place for love and praise, a place for redemption and hope, and you know what? it doesn't even need to be a building or a chapel, heck you can find church in the local cafe your family goes to every thursday night with friends, it can be the people surrounding your locker, it can be the can food drive, anywhere with a faith, a hope, a soul and a truth. heck yes!
so, anyways after we got back from the splendiferous church, i walk in my front door and see a family surrounding my table. another, extra family. hmm... ok well this wasn't unexpected, but y'know, i must admit, it's a bit freaky walking in your front door and seeing a bunch of unknown eyes staring at you. i mean, c'mon. so ya i was nervous and hungry, and those aren't a good mix, especially when people are watching you eat, i felt a bit alien in my own home, which is, AWKWARD. but after dinner we all went on the TRAMPOLINE!!!!!!!!!!!!! and for any of you that have been on that great hunk of bounciness, you should know that it has special powers. powers of taking uncomfortablity between people away, powers of laughter induction, powers of jerking your tears out, powers of finding the philosopher inside you, and of power to a great, huge bounce. turns out those people are really friendly, talkative, humans. who woulda thunk it? some of them have mad conversation engaging skills, and they're funny too. i had a really great time, really great. talk about extreme hyperactivity on my part. well it was 11:30 when i was put in bed, and as some of you know, that time is all it takes...
hmm... well i would write about today, but a) i was so tired at school i didn't do much complex thinking, and b) my fingers are getting sore and some of you immensly obnoxious humans (hahaha) are expecting emails on other current circumstancess and that might take a while. geez, nosy, pestering, beasts. well. peace+whales=music

you are what you mold yourself to be... or something like that

beautiful comments me...or is it. no i am not being narsisistic (ok that might be too many is' and i'm sorry, but you do get the point don't you?) that really was the hypocritical beast who commented's name, bah! do any of you humans know pavia's email address? i forgot it. maybe i'll just ask her tomorrow, that'd be smart.
uh so ya i think it would be a good idea to post at the end of the day, don't you? y'know as review... but i feel like writing now and it's my blog so MWAHAHAHAHA! anyways, i just got back from youth group and it was amazing because as i was eating my CHILI CHEESE BURGER, i didn't spill on myself once! like totally omg! me! me of all people! no spillages! nothing! yipee! so anyways we did the youth group thing [which is one of the greatest church related things ever in life, really any of you, well besides noah because he's already in it, can come! we feed the homeless, go to weddings (ok well thats rare, i must admit, we don't tend to get married much between the youth, haha) so anyways we're all like one big mostly-happy family: we jump on eachother, our hideous pink and brown sectional, and my trampoline, yahoo!!!] ok well i must state that was an immensly long bracket thing, but i like brackets! THEY TOTALLY ROCK MY FACE OFF! lalalalalala! hmm... ok so anyways. i started thinking at the youth group thing, and this is what i thought: things are what you make them to be, and you are what you mold yourself to be. and i was just thinking about it quite a bit b/c one human from the youth group said two things that i remember, those of which are 'california is boring' and 'this swing is fun'. and i was thinking about it so much i wrote it in sharpie on my hand! geez. so it made me feel as if i had great amounts of freedom yet a major responsibility. like i can be anything, do anything, love anything, i can be who i am despite everything, but along with that comes a great power to how to live and i need to control that. like i can see life, love, anything, anyone, myself, in a certain way, but i must keep my power under control to not lose my well being, or ruin others. its remarkable, i think.
folks are coming over soon, and i'm really excited, because I LOVE PEOPLE! but another side to that fact is i've had to clean my room. i'm not sure if its a good thing or a bad thing, this room tidying business. i feel really good doing it, like as i'm throwing all this old paper in the recycling, i'm throwing off old work, and words, and deeds and feelings and i can start afresh. its nice to breathe again, without all this crap in my personal space. oh and guess what else i found out! I HAVE A FLOOR!!! shocker... well my dears i must return to my room cleaning and flex my mad tidying skills, but alas, i may yet return to brief you on my upcoming happenings, farewell sweet masters, sweet maidens!

let us begin, shall we?

heloo humans! i doubt many of you will actually read this and care but y'know, its a saturday and soccer is stalled and i'm immensely bored, so yeah... i know the background is what you low intellegence life forms call 'pink' but i like to think of it more as a deep magenta-mauve-rose-willyoubemyvalentine sort of shade. mmyes, divine! that is one hottie color! so yeah... and i bet y'all are wondering why i got some lame-o bloggy thing instead of a idolized MYSPACE, and i will tell you with complete and utter confidence. i for one, am not 14, and i don't feel like lying and cheating and being malicious little fools like my school buddios-- minus pavia. hahaha. and secondly, uhhhh...er, hmm. well i guess because i didn't feel like it, that's reason enough for me, so yeah! oh and MYSPACE IS WAY OVERRATED! BOO! sorry myspace. oh and all about the name-- well i would have done something else to do with lemon pandas but i felt bad because, well what about seth? can't just be ditching him, right? i'm not the only one invoved with the mystical beings so, i'm only half, only partial...
so hmm... its funky how right when i create this blog thing, i have absolutely no idea what to talk about. LAME! LAME! LAME! whaddayu folks talk about? maybe i'll think a bit and be back later, i'm still trying to figure all this junk out, toughy toughy.
i'm off to go trampolining now folks, and maybe i'll get some ideas there, after all, that is the place to go for great imaginings, see ya, my loves.
always yours,

mackakelenzio