Thursday, April 5, 2007

this life in my pocket: issue 18: dizzy feelings/ over my head (cable car)



ok, i know once you read these lyrics, you're all gonna think i'm backtracking.. and i mean after that post yesterday.. its kinda.. well, backwards. so uhm.. lemme explain.

ok so i got a tad confused today with you there and my feelings for you, everything was really twisty (hormones, hnh.), and i was just sorta. .C. .O. .N. .F. .U. .S. .E. .D... again! lemme tell ya, it is getting OLD. but hey? who isn't confused..? i mean really. so i.. here. just read em, they pretty much describe what i be feeling. okie?


Over My Head (Cable Car)
The Fray

I never knew
I never knew that everything was falling through
That everyone I knew was waiting on a queue
To turn and run when all I needed was the truth
But that's how it's got to be
It's coming down to nothing more than apathy
I'd rather run the other way than stay and see
The smoke and who's still standing when it clears

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

Let's rearrange
I wish you were a stranger I could disengage
Just say that we agree and then never change
Soften a bit until we all just get along
But that's disregard
Find another friend and you discard
As you lose the argument in a cable car
Hanging above as the canyon comes between


Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

And suddenly I become a part of your past
I'm becoming the part that don't last
I'm losing you and its effortless
Without a sound we lose sight of the ground
In the throw around
Never thought that you wanted to bring it down
I won't let it go down till we torch it ourselves

And everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

Everyone knows
She's on your mind
Everyone knows I'm in over my head
I'm in over my head
I'm in over...

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind


ok? so i.. just know that.. i don't know a thing here. i don't know what's going down. i don't know your feelings. i don't know what on earth i'm feeling. i don't know where this is going, and even where we've been seems a bit hazy.

i'm confused, everything i see makes me confused, every look you send me, every signal, every lack thereof, sends me into a warped shade of confusion. its like both of us are so, so clueless. of what moves to make, what we should give, what we should take, where to go and how to get there. so cluelessly confused. ugh.

its like i'm spinning, twirling, and everything is whirling into a million shapes, sparks, leaving every sign out of focus, out of me. and i hate to say this, but i don't know which way i like better. its like i'm running again, but not running from my fears, but from all true clarity. but maybe that is a major fear of mine. seeing straight. or maybe i'm not, maybe its all just eluding me.. but its prolly just me.

i don't know what i want here. not at all. i think i want you. but when i'm with you, i get so... confused. i don't know what i want, don't know what i need, and if they correspond at all. i think i see the same fear/longing/displacement/dizzyness in your eyes, but then i look again... and i..

dizzy in what, though? dizzy in dispair? dizzy in hope? dizzy in envy? dizzy in yearning? dizzy in disgust? dizzy in love?

dizzy, dizzy, dizzy.

i just can't see it, give me a sign, straigten me out, hold me tight and... keep me from spinning away..

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